The Buddhists recommend that we have a “grandmother mind.” They describe this mind as patient, loving and filled with passion. I like this recommendation.
• The grandmother I knew was very protective, always encouraging and quick to forgive my mistakes. When everyone else was quick to condemn or criticize, my grandmother would teach me life lessons with her arm around me.
• Maybe if we all practiced creating and maintaining a grandma mind, compassion would become more important than controlling. Kindness would replace indifference, and love would be created whenever we got outside ourselves.
• Whenever I was with my grandmother, I felt very positive about myself. She taught me to not worry about what others thought about me. She often said, “You know what is right or wrong; you do the right thing, and everything will be just fine.”
• The grandmother mind moves people forward. Confidence is created for her loved ones and strangers, too. Grandmothers don’t give up on people, and they forgive our mistakes because they believe love does not punish. Love prevails, in good times and bad times.
• Looking back, my Billingsley grandmother convinced me that I was worthy in every sense of the word. I often felt as good as you can feel when she was by my side or in my thoughts. Today, I try to utilize a grandmother mind in the way I treat people. Thank you grandmother, AKA “Mommie.”
• Recently I asked a working mother what she did for fun, and she could not come up with an immediate answer. When I asked her if she ever took time off just for herself, she said, “You must be kidding.” I guess, if your day starts at 6:30 a.m. and ends at 9:30 p.m., there isn’t much time for fun or for yourself. Maybe “me” disappears when you become a working mother.
• Guys, if your wife is working 90 hours a week, you need to do something about that — immediately. The household labor needs to be divided equally, and you need to create time off for her and for both of you.
• It’s rare that ladies admit they are exhausted. When they finally quit taking care of everyone else, they occasionally get to sit down; and then they realize how tired they are.
• Guys don’t get exhausted, because they don’t work 90-hour weeks. They come home from work and tell their wife how tired they are while she is cooking dinner, wiping a child’s nose, answering the phone and writing a grocery shopping list.
• I remember reading that there was a super-computer that could deal with one-trillion mathematical operations per second. Why is that such a big deal? Working moms make that many decisions before they prepare the kids’ lunch bags for the next day.
• What would happen if a mother said, “I can’t do any more of anything today”? The home life would become catatonic. Everything would come to a total standstill. Everyone seems to understand “writer’s block.” Why can’t mothers have “mother’s block?”
• Ladies, tell your husband to do your job for just one week — and you will see changes occur in the household.
• If I were a mother, I would take up long-distance running as my hobby. It would get me out of the house for several hours, keep me healthy and slim, and I would get to travel to some races. You would probably outlive the kids and husband. Imagine hours of no kids or husband demands. No telephone … just you and your private sweat. Try it!
Bob Billingsley is an El Dorado Hills resident and bi-weekly columnist at the Mountain Democrat.