The more I live, the more I believe that what we think about becomes who we are. In other words, we choose our inner world. Our thoughts create our inner world, not outside sources.
Those who worry a lot create an inner world full of stress, fear, and pessimism. Their inner world never relaxes because they never let their guard down. Their hearts and their souls are constantly under attack … at least that is what they believe and see.
If you are always thinking bad thoughts, you can’t see goodness if it falls into your lap. Constant negative thoughts make you blind. You no longer can see goodness or kindness. There is no room left for compassion or thankfulness. You are dead inside, and no one wants to attend the funeral.
When you create a totally negative universe for yourself, you are no longer fun to be around. Friends, relatives and acquaintances know what to expect from you, and the expectations are very low. They can announce a wedding coming up or a pending birth, and you will throw cold water on any happy news offered. People quit walking towards you … Telephone calls and face-to-face conversations disappear in your dismal life.
• A long time ago I quit wasting my time trying to change people who had no intention of changing. My time and their time were too valuable to be spending on game-playing and ongoing failure to make a difference. Sometimes it’s just smart to get out of their way and move forward. You don’t get misspent time back.
• If someone you love is on a downhill rampage, you should spend your time with them, after the rampage has calmed down or stopped. During their rampage, they don’t hear you or follow your advice.
• Talking to a drunk or loaded drug addict is a total waste of time. They will not remember what was said, and they will deny what they said or did. Trying to talk to an intoxicated or loaded person means you are now caught in their destructive game, too. You must “let go” until they are sober.
• When your ongoing thoughts are positive, you can see kindness and compassion. Positive thoughts create good experiences and rewarding friendships. You expect good things to happen — and they do.
• When your thoughts are on the right side, the best of you prevails. You offer good thoughts to the person in the toll booth, the person who is waiting on you, and you change the baby you are holding … everyone benefits from your warm thoughts.
• When your day starts out on a bad note, you have a choice. Most people I know would decide that a bad start on the day often results in a lousy day. The pessimist, especially the doomsday type, would expect to be involved in a road rage incident on the way to work or on the way home from work.
• Those who expect road rage will often find it. They will find themselves in the middle of a rage incident. They may even create road rage to validate their doomsday prediction.
• Accidentally closing the car trunk on your fingers before you leave your house could result in an argument at work if your expectations are always negative. Those who live constantly with negative thinking also expect bad news when they get home. Any small incident can trigger their anger. If all you think about is negative, you can expect a disappointing and depressive universe. The negative thinkers are rarely happy people as they fight through their “I told you so” world.
• People who have ongoing happy thoughts do not expect road rage or battle at work or at home. They look for the best in people and events, and they often find it. Happy thinkers are a pleasure to be around. Find yourself a happy thinker and marry him/her!
Bob Billingsley is an El Dorado Hills resident and biweekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat.