In his book “Real Magic,” Dr. Wayne W. Dyer states, “The secret to changing your life is your intentions. Wishing, hoping and goal setting cannot accomplish change without intention.” Intention is not wishful thinking; it has purpose and goals in mind.
• Before you make important decisions, it pays to carefully examine your intentions. Big decisions, such as marriage, changing jobs or gambling with your health or finances, require that your intentions are very clear.
• If you ask yourself the right questions, your intentions become clear. Any life-changing decision requires careful examination of your intentions. Questions such as, “Is my ego involved in my intentions?” need to be answered. If your ego is in control, your intentions are probably related to control or winning.
• Ego-controlled decisions will not take other people’s needs in mind. Your intentions and your decisions are all about me, me, me, when your ego is in charge. I recommend you try to keep your competitive, controlling ego out of your intentions.
• When someone does anything to me that that makes me angry or makes me feel hurt or disappointed, I attempt to figure out what was their intention before I respond to their actions.
• There have been situations where someone disappointed me, but had good intentions in mind. For example, a co-worker told a friend that I thought his decision was wrong. My co-worker thought my friend would change his mind if he knew I disagreed with his decision and that I and others would be happy when he changed his mind. Well, talking to my co-worker about my friend backfired. My friend was upset that I didn’t talk to him directly and that I was telling others that I disagreed with him. Sometimes good intentions backfire if they are not carefully thought out.
• When you decide to ask someone to marry you, your intention is to let that person know that you want to be an important part of her forever. You hope that she agrees with your intentions.
• Intentions become your reality, and the engagement becomes a marriage. Your marriage becomes what you believe it is. Thoughts have a way of becoming intentions, and intentions become the real world.
• Eventually your marriage becomes what you think it is. If your thoughts are negative and pessimistic, the marriage will become a chore instead of becoming a delight. Negative thoughts often become negative intentions.
• Upbeat, optimistic thoughts create a positive marriage, loaded with intentions of succeeding. If you have negative thoughts about your marriage, it’s possible to change those thoughts before they become negative intentions. To change your negative thoughts about your marriage, you must make your spouse aware of your feelings. If there is no communication, there will be no positive changes.
• No communication results in the situation becoming worse, and eventually resulting in divorce or a long-term marriage devoid of intimacy. Open communication, where both parties are willing to listen to each other, can turn a marriage around to a positive relationship with optimistic intentions.
• Two people who march to different drummers can live happily ever after if they are allowed to be themselves.
• Whenever you have any doubts about your intentions, stop and think before you act. After all is said and done, your intentions will become your real world.
Bob Billingsley is an El Dorado Hills resident and bi-weekly columnist at the Mountain Democrat.