Crib notes: How are kids affected by same-sex marriage?
Marriage equality is in the headlines once more because of oral arguments presented before the Supreme Court both for and against striking down California’s Proposition 8, which defines marriage as being between a man and a woman. Regardless of what the Supreme Court rules later this year, the movement has more support than ever and it looks like same-sex marriage will be legal everywhere in America sooner or later but I hope as a society we don’t stop thinking about how this will affect kids.
Supporters of same-sex marriage are out in force, reminiscent of past civil rights issues. The symbol for marriage equality (red with two horizontal white strips) has gone viral on Facebook as people’s avatars, and it’s certainly provoked a lot of discussions.
It is nice to see people make a stand – whether for themselves or others. One lesbian expressed her gratitude, saying, “Seeing the number ‘1000’ written out isn’t as powerful as seeing 1,000 pennies. And seeing the HRC symbol on so many Facebook avatars let’s me know others stand with me.” I am happy for her, and for the millions of other gay and lesbians who probably thought this day would never come.
I do believe being gay is how some people are born, just as being heterosexual is how others are born. It’s always angered me to hear of people hiding in fear or shame, or even being physically hurt or discriminated by others, because of their sexuality. And government shouldn’t dictate to whom we leave our estates or survivor benefits, etc.
Most reasonable people agree that it’s impossible to dictate or regulate love.
As usual, I go back to kids and their well-being when I think about the effects of society’s big issues.
If the foundation of marriage is to conjoin with another person and to begin a new family together, that usually means creating children. And two people of the same gender can’t make a baby – that’s not discrimination, or emotion, but a fact. Now with modern advances in science, many have and will get past the old-fashioned way of making a baby.
Still, society should not discount the importance of a mother AND a father in a child’s life. I think about how different my children’s lives would be if they didn’t have the influence of their father. I think about what they’d experience if they didn’t have me around either. The masculine and feminine energies each bring something different, and vitally important, to children.
There are people who will still say it’s better to have two loving parents regardless of gender. That is true, but two loving parents of opposite genders would be even better.
Some say there are a lot of single parents out there anyway. In fact, we are at a turning point in American history when just about more children are born to unwed mothers than to married ones. Still, parents who are single by choice are the same as parents who choose to have their children miss out on the benefits of having both a mother and a father.
This is not discrimination, or fear, or hate. In the end, it’s just not ideal for kids.