Commentary

Billingsley’s Bullets: Does your self-image need help?

By From page A5 | July 26, 2017

It’s pretty unusual to receive a straightforward compliment. I’m not talking about a daily compliment. Most people are lucky to receive a weekly compliment.

A compliment can turn a lousy day into a special day. Compliments mean you are being recognized and appreciated. Sometimes these compliments remind us that we have talents we don’t recognize or give ourselves credit for.

Sincere compliments make your hair thicker and your tummy smaller. The more compliments you give, the more points you receive when you arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Unfortunately there are such things as insincere compliments. These compliments occur when someone is seeking a favor from the person being complimented. Some people seeking promotions or pay raises become expert at offering insincere compliments. Drunk people offer insincere compliments to seduce people or to receive a free drink.

If you are an insincere compliment addict, your insincere compliments lose their power and their influence. The word gets around that you are a B.S.-er.

When you feel like complimenting someone, don’t hesitate. It is reported that Mr. Trump recently called a meeting of his significant appointees. Each appointee complimented Mr. Trump or voiced what an honor it was to serve him. They went around the entire table.

I am thinking about creating a Bob’s Boosters Club. We would meet weekly in a conference room and members would go around the table complimenting me. After the compliments were finished, the meeting would be adjourned. To determine if the compliments were sincere or fake, each participant would be required to take a lie detector test after each meeting.

Also, Bob Boosters members would be required to wash my car on Fridays and to take my garbage cans to the curb on collection days.

• In the middle of love-making, a lover should not say the following:

  • The ceiling needs to be painted.
  • Did you feed the dog?
  • This mattress hurts my back.
  • Are you finished?
  • Did you turn off the dining room fan?
  • Remind me to call DMV tomorrow.
  • Last night you took all the covers.
  • Do you remember the first time we held hands?
  • I think you need a haircut.

• In his book “Courage – The Joy of Living Dangerously,” Osho notes the following: “This is my experience of thousands of people. They cling to their misery for the simple reason that they have grown a certain kind of friendship with misery. They have lived with it so long that now to leave it will be almost like a divorce.”

Osho states, in many ways, “Courage is just the opposite of fear.” I get the impression from Osho that fear stops people from leaving bad situations. Fear creates a reluctance to change negative situations in their lives. They don’t divorce a failed marriage or leave a job they hate.

Courage requires you to take a stand, to walk away. You are not afraid to take a huge pay cut to take a job that looks more rewarding. Courageous people are not afraid to leave a marriage that has become boring or fearful.

When joy is your goal in life, you need to have the courage to seek a joyful marriage or a rewarding job. When misery has its arms around you, pry the arms off and create a new life. Life is too short to dance with ongoing boredom or fear.

Sometimes you just need to be a gambler and take a chance. Don’t allow your children to grow up in a joyless home. The kids have not lived long enough to apply courage in their thinking — but you have.

The older I get the more I understand that time is absolutely precious. Don’t waste your time with boring people, jobs or activities. Get outside yourself and spread your compassion all over the place. Choose a loving person, and your heart will be perfect.

Bob Billingsley is an El Dorado Hills resident and monthly columnist for Village Life.

Bob Billingsley

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