Billingsley’s Bullets: It’s smart to start anew

By January 9, 2012

If you finished up 2011 feeling depressed, angry or very sad, you need to figure out what happened to you and make sure it doesn’t happen again in 2012. To start anew means to do something different.

Do not allow old scripts to dominate your life. Maybe your family decided you were “the lazy child” or “the black sheep” of the family. Perhaps their script description of you was, “She’s the dizzy dame” or “he’s going to screw up a lot.”

The important question is, did you believe the script they decided for you was accurate, and are you still fulfilling their negative script?

One of the problems with negative scripts imposed by family is that once the script message is imposed, the family rarely changes its mind about who you are and what your future will be like.

If you inherited a negative script, it’s past time to abandon the negative script. It’s never too late to let go of old business, especially if the old business has left you angry, depressed or very sad.

Start 2012 by forsaking the old negative script and create a new, positive script of who you are. Don’t allow the past to determine your present life. You can’t change the past, but you can let go of it.

The script messages were given to you when you were an adolescent. You did not have enough life experience to challenge the script they decided for you. You are old enough now to challenge the family’s decision. Create a new, positive script to make 2012 a successful, fun-filled year.

Starting over as an adult may also require a new set of friends, moving to a new neighborhood and setting a new set of values and goals. Tom Robbins said, “It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.” Tom was right.

2011 may have had a miserable year because an addiction created havoc and despair in your otherwise OK life. There are lots of ways to battle and conquer an addiction. The best solution is to let go of the addiction. Stop feeding the addiction and get on with a future that is optimistic and hopeful.

My experience as a parole/probation officer revealed that many addicts are bored, lonely and generally very pessimistic about their future. Their addiction allows them to numb their depression, anger or sadness for a few hours, daily.

Addictions offer no solutions in the long run, and the addiction is destructive, costly and finally . . . humiliating. The addiction wins, and you and those who love you suffer.

Start 2012 by avoiding fellow addicts, and avoid the addict’s environment. Of course, you need to create new friendships and new goals, different attitudes and an optimistic, hopeful lifestyle.

In 2012 I recommend you create a quiet world for yourself and your loved ones. Get out of town and go to the beach, the mountains, or rent a cabin in Montana in May or June.

I believe noise wears us out without us really being aware of it. Constant noise irritates me and exhausts me. It’s impossible to be creative in a noisy environment. Creative juices need silence. Start 2012 by turning off all the noise boxes, including TV, radio, and cellphones as often as possible. Don’t talk so much. Drive a silent car. Search for a quiet restaurant. Avoid loud-mouthed people.

Start 2012 by figuring out what is causing stress in your everyday life. Create a stress list and eliminate the stress creators. Stress creates a noisy brain, a tired body and restless sleep.

Have a great 2012 – and count your blessings daily.

Bob Billingsley is an El Dorado Hills resident and biweekly columnist for the Mountain Democrat.

Bob Billingsley


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